Reflections

Marital Fruit

This is not a favorite topic of mine, but it's been on my heart.

I can’t believe that Helen and I did an episode about having the sex talk with your kids. I also can’t believe I had so much to say about it…and I have more thoughts to share. Why has this conversation been in my mind for a few weeks? I told y’all I was modest, and I don’t typically like to kiss and tell. Don’t worry this isn’t that type of post. This is not a favorite topic of mine. In fact, I am sure there are lots of folks who would call me prudish. But this post has been on my heart. So, here it is.

When Jim and I were newly married Jim listened to the Rick and Bubba morning show. They are funny guys. One day Jim came home from work and said he had learned something very interesting and important from them. He began to tell me that sex was the marital fruit. I can’t even remember what the argument was, but he was very happy to share that since we were married we needed to have marital fruit. I don’t know if they were trying to draw a parallel line with spiritual fruit or what…like the Spirit of God in your life will produce peace, joy, patience, kindness, goodness, etc. So, marriage produces sex? As in we are married and our prize is that we can have sex all the time, as much as we want? I was overwhelmed. HaHa. Still am. Wink. Wink.

I know this is where I stray into the purity culture. I do believe that sex is for marriage. I believe it is for husband and wife. (Don’t come at me with wife/wife husband/husband they/them non-binary. That is a different road for this topic that I am not currently discussing.) I think that is how God intended it. It is truly the most intimate you can be with someone because you have to be vulnerable. You don’t have clothes on…or at least not all of them…and a quick getaway is tricky. I think it is supposed to be an emotional thing. You should feel connected to your partner in more ways than one. And how many people do you want to be that connected to? More than one would be exhausting. Wouldn’t it?

I don’t know guys. I just think the world tells us to go, do, feel, touch, taste to all the things. It seems a little too much. It adds so much stress and pressure. When you keep between just two people you cultivate a place that is (or should be) open and honest. Calming and relaxing. Trusting. Joyful. Wouldn’t it be comforting to know that you have that one person who literally knows you inside and out? Sorry for the graphic phrase.

Okay that’s enough about this. If I keep talking I will share too much and Jim will be mad. And embarrassed.