New Years are weird. For school age children and their parents, it’s not actually a new start. I mean we are literally in the middle of a year, not the beginning. We still have fourth, ninth, and twelfth grades to finish. (These are our current grades at the Trotter house.) We can possibly turn over a new leaf I suppose. You know like not waiting until the last minute to do projects and homework. Reading every day. Keep working on those math facts. Italian vocab.
And what does the phrase “New Year, New Me” even really mean? How many of us really need to be new? I can get behind improved, I guess. 2023 the year of New and Improved Emily! Hold on to your hats, folks.
I can’t be new. And do I really want to be? I’ve learned a lot in my 45 years on the planet and I don’t think starting over would be helpful. Goodness gracious there are things I need to know and not do again. Learn from your mistakes, am I right?
Sigh. I’m not perfect.
I could stand some improvements. Sigh.
This leads to the question of who says? The improvements I need to make, are they my idea or someone else’s? There seem to be so many ideas and…things we are made to believe are crucial to survival. For our well-being. Really, though? I need to be healthy, not skinny. Meal planning? I hate it. Be more productive. Why? What am I supposed to produce?
Does this sound like I am advocating sitting around doing nothing? Wallowing in I don’t want to?
That is not my intention. I want all of us to be the best we can be. I just want us to be that because we want to. Not because it’s a new year and the world says so. Would I like to be fluent in another language? 100% Do I need to do that to be happy? Nope. Do I want to live with less? Yes. Will that be incredibly hard to do? Also, yes. Especially since I live with 4-5 other people.
There is the other piece of this. My life is not really my own. That sounds weird. It literally is my life, I do live it. But it’s not solely mine. Because I believe in God I believe I have a purpose higher than what I can see. I also am responsible for 4 boys/young men. How will it help them if I am suddenly too busy doing all the things to make myself “better”? I am a wife. I want my marriage to be good. Great, even. I can’t have that if I only focus on myself. And I really want to be everyone’s favorite aunt. I want Nothin’ But Fine to contribute to making the world a better place…and to financially support my shoe and handbag obsession.
So, for 2023 I am going to keep on keeping on. Every day I am going to not only wake up (God willing) but also try do my very best. And if I don’t, that’s ok too. (The being my best part, not the waking up part. Gotta do that.)